i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
