I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
