Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
