once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
