I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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