I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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