i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
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nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
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I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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