youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
