Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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