Will you blow on my dice?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
