Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
