You're completely useless in the revolution.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
