No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
