$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Randomize
