He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
