I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize