i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
