And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
FUCK WHALES
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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