Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
