Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize