Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
