I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
