if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I love you.
Bad choice
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
