I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
