i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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