Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
