My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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