oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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