Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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