Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
