I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
