There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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