is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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