just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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