Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
