love makes seman taste better
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
