i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
