I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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