Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize