is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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