Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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