Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
