Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
