Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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