so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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