can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
