Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
