If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.