My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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