just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
