His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
