apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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