So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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