susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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