No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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