why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
