New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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