Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her vagine was all disorganized.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
