Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
