I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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