forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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