You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
